Why you should disclose past divorce with your new partner?
One of the hardest things after divorce is moving on, It gets even more difficult with kids.
Slowly as a marriage proceeds, the couple gets comfortable with each other but when conflicts arise not only does it take away their marriage, it also shatter their self-esteem.
But taking small steps can gradually help you in standing back on ground. Once you start dating, it gets difficult to open up about past commitments.
So, in today’s article I am going to tell you some reasons about why you should disclose past divorce with your new partner.
#1 Do you have to disclose previous marriages?
First of all don’t view your divorce as your failure, We are human beings and we are vulnerable for making mistakes.
No matter what lead to the ending of your relationship with your ex-spouse, don’t make it a matter of embarrassment.
We human beings need to grow constantly, some changes are painful but we need them desperately.
Marriage is an integral part of life, a very crucial decision; according to me one should not hide this factor from their new partners.
If they like you now, they can definitely accept whatever is hidden in your past. So next time if you feel confused or messed up about do you have to declare previous marriage or not, don’t think twice.
#2 When should you tell someone you are divorced?
Telling about your divorce too soon to your date can easily scare them off. Even if your divorce happened on peaceful ground, you must not mention it in initial dates.
As per my suggestion, you should open for talking about past relationships with new partner only when the topic of past affairs arises.
Otherwise, give your partner an idea about past divorce after 10th date.
One suggestion is to never talk about your ex-spouse in an apologetic voice as it can give negative vibes to your date.
#3 What if you hide your previous marriage?
You see the base of each relationship is trust. I have seen several of women complaining about “he didn’t tell me he was divorced”.
Why comforting someone with lies when you can hurt them with the truth?
I know that most people hide their past relationship because they are scared of losing their new partner.
Each human has a different psyche for love, some gets over protective and some drown themselves in doubts but, it is an utmost requirement of a long lasting relationship, that you do not hide something that meant so much to you once.
If your partner is loyal to you, they will learn to accept your past by still cherishing each moment they spend with you,A relationship cannot flourish properly if you and your partner keep on hiding stuff from each other.
#4 Things you should know while dating a divorced man:
Once you know that your man is divorced, Do not ever think of ruling in the relationship.
Here are some things you need to know once he opened up to you about his past relationship:
- See where his divorce is standing
- Accepts the fact that he has an ex-wife or may also have kids. Accept the facts that no matter how past he is from his divorce, you cannot eradicate the memories of ex-wife from his mind. Do not get insecure, angry or jealous
- Do not stalk his ex-wife, the more you dig deep the more distant you will get from your man
- Accept his child/children (if any). Be extremely mindful of the parenting situation and also about the time that he has to spend with his children.
- A divorced guy may hesitate in commitments because of the bumpy road he faced in his divorced marriage. So, piece of advice is to have some patience.
- Make sure that he does not still have feelings for the ex-wife. If he talks about her or spend a lot of time with her so it is definitely the sign that he is not over her. It is suggested to avoid seeing such men
- In earlier phase of your relationship do not hesitate to know what he wants in this relationship. Do not think of settling in with him if he is looking to have some fun.
- Be aware of his point of views on re- Before planning your future him ask him and clear the air about marrying again. If you want him and he doesn’t, then what is the point of all this relationship?
Conclusion:
It takes a lot of courage from the side of men to step into dating game after divorce. But once you find someone compatible it is highly advisable to disclose your divorce situation as soon as possible. If by any mean you don’t do it, your partner might develop trust issues. Here are some the reasons why you should disclose past divorce with your new partner.